The art of dealing with pain.

Of the billions and millions of people roaming around this planet that we call Earth, there would be a lot of people who would try to tear you apart. They will break you and crush you and torment you for all they care. You will get hurt, and you will feel pain- a great amount of pain from people who may or may not matter that much. Selfish people exist, and yes, we do not live in a perfect world.

If it hasn’t sunk in to you yet or you just want to get a repeated dose of reality, then here: WE ARE ALL DOOMED TO LIVE A LIFE OF NEVER ENDING TRIALS AND DEVASTATING CHANGES BECAUSE THE WORLD IS IMPERFECT AND IT’S DEFINITELY NOT FAIR. The world is filled with cruel people. Crueler than you could ever imagine. And in the billions existing, only a thousand would comprise the ones who want to bring you down.

But do you really think they’re important? Do you think every single person of the one thousand people would really be able to inflict that much pain to you? And do you really think you would carry that same amount of pain forever?

No.

I don’t think so. Because in that one thousand, only a hundred or may be a fewer would matter. And only a few would last for a reasonable amount of time.

Pain is inevitable. It’s all around us. Just like what I’ve said, the world is an imperfect place. But then again, we get to choose who inflicts the greatest pain in our lives. If a stranger calls you ugly, you will not bother that much. But if someone special tells you that, for sure, you will feel heartbroken. Same scenario, different people, different degree of pain. Because if someone really does matter, then we would really be affected by what they say or do. 

Truth betold: We have a say on who can hurt us and who would hurt us more. 

The world is an imperfect place filled with imperfect people creating imperfect scenarios just to give someone an imperfect life. And that’s enough reason for you to fall apart. But then we are the masters of our life. And we get to have a say on who matters and who doesn’t. If those imperfect people are causing you unreasonable pain, then leave them.

Someone who recently got his heart broken asked me, “Until when will I feel this pain, when will i stop crying?”

My answer was simple: Until you tell yourself to suck it up and carry on. 

You can never stop people from hurting you. And you can never stop yourself from feeling the pain that you’re supposed to feel. But you can always choose who would hurt you and until when you would feel hurt. Because we are the masters of our lives, and we have the power to choose the things that would count.

Despite the world’s imperfections, there would still be those who are happy inhabiting it. Despite the many trials one encounters, there would still be those who would rise up to be as glorious and triumphant. Yes, You can argue that they might be happy people by nature or they were born strong and destined to be great.

But I say, they have just mastered the art of dealing with pain.

I don’t believe in.

Here are the things, mostly cliche, that I don’t believe in and that has left me wondering why they even exist. 

  • I don’t believe in love at first sight.
    L
    ove goes beyond the physical appearances of people. You could be attracted to someone without falling in love with him/her. But you can always love someone without completely being attracted to him/her.  I think people should love with their hearts, not with their eyes. Because our eyes can deceive us from time to time.
  • I don’t believe in the saying “first love never dies”
    Love is not a race on who would be the first boyfriend or girlfriend. Sometimes true love can be found somewhere in the middle even the last. But it’s not about who you’re with now or who you were with in the past, It’s about who you’re with the last. Because if the love you share is not genuine. then it wouldn’t definitely last. I fell in love once, and I’m still waiting to fall in love again. I know in my heart I have moved on and that I’m no longer infatuated with that person before. 
  • I no longer don’t believe in daysaries/monthsaries/special love holidays.
    Yes, once upon a time in my life I did celebrate monthsaries with my special someone but if I could just take it back I would because  that was so childish. Love should not be measured by the days you spend together, it’s measured by the things that you have shared. Counting the days that you’re together is like having a countdown of you’re relationship. Like waiting for a time bomb to explode, like waiting for a deadline- an expiration date. People should just let Love work on its magic and savor the moments that they are together. Besides, love doesn’t require a specific date for you to show someone how you feel.  
  • I don’t believe in Valentine’s.
    This is quite debatable since I do celebrate Valentine’s with people I love. My friends to be specific. But still, I think giving out flowers, chocolates and stuffed toys on Valentine’s is just an excuse people use to spend some money and gain “pogi points” for the ladies.  Others just celebrate it because everyone else does. I mean, if you have genuine love for someone, then show them you love them on an ordinary day. Valentine’s is not a holiday for couples to celebrate and single people to curse. In fact, it’s not even a holiday,for me it’s just another normal day.
  • I don’t believe in soul mates.
    There’s no such thing as a perfect match. There will come a time that you would love someone whom you would disagree and fight with. You would be dysfunctional together- but that’s okay. You would love each other still. Because that’s true love. We keep on picturing our soul mates thinking that they are like this and that, that you will be doing this and that. But I think the more we think of our soul mates the lesser our chances of finding them. There is no perfect match for us, just the right person.
  • I don’t believe in “forever”.
    I explained it here before. Forever is not a promise we make.It is something we act on everyday. That is why I don’t believe people who claim to love someone forever because it has infinite possibilities. And in that infinity, problems and break ups will eventually arise. Every day should be considered as a forever for the both of you. 
  • I don’t believe in SWEET words and promises.
    “I will wait for you.” “I’ll love you forever” “You will always be the one” — Obviously these statements have been abused for quite some time now. Yes it may sound nice but i’ve heard it before and no one stood by what they said so I don’t believe in it anymore. Not to sound bitter or anything, but it would be better if people just did it instead of just promising anything.

But if there’s something I believe in, it would be LOVE. Genuine love. I don’t believe in the things stated above because for me, those are just add-ons. They do not give meaning to love. They do not give justice to love. It just complicates the true essence of love. Love is supposed to be a great thing yet people throw it away like it’s nothing. Love in its simplest form can be found in the simple actions one makes. It does not require grand romantic gestures. It does not require a formula to make it work. It does not require standards or physical abilities. It only requires a sincere heart. A heart that will do, not a heart that will say. Because we love with actions, not with words. A lot of people forget that. They attach different things to love- dates, standards, flowers, promises, chocolates etc. but love is not felt with the day you spend or the things you receive, It is felt with the sincerity in your actions. 

Some people are wondering why it’s so hard for me to open my heart to someone new. I guess, you can find the answers here. I am not opening my heart to anyone right now because no one has shown me true love yet. If I would love again, I want it to be someone who has understood me and my idea of love. Because I love love. And I don’t want anyone to mess it up for me.

( 10 ) 3 months ago - Reblog  #dance  #love  #relationships  #people  #music  #you
Forever is not a promise that you should make, it’s something you act on. We keep on blaming circumstances for broken promises of forever, but we seldom think of our own shortcomings. We didn’t make our forever work, that’s why it ended. Forever is happening right now. And if people will try harder, it can definitely last long. It could definitely take eternity. 

Forever is not a promise that you should make, it’s something you act on. We keep on blaming circumstances for broken promises of forever, but we seldom think of our own shortcomings. We didn’t make our forever work, that’s why it ended. Forever is happening right now. And if people will try harder, it can definitely last long. It could definitely take eternity. 

Why is it so hard for us to express how we truly feel? I mean if people were able to show their true feelings then there won’t be so many lonely hearts in this planet. We won’t play mind games anymore and we would no longer go through all those BS that life puts us through. If only people learned how to be expressive. It may be too much to ask but then again wishing about it wouldn’t hurt, right? I really find it hard to distinguish the truth from the games. Part of me wants to believe that there might be a chance that the whole thing is true, to me and to you. But then again I can’t take away the fact that may be this is just one of the silly games that you are playing. You are one selfish person. If only I knew your side, then I’ll know where to base my thoughts. If only you spoke up. But I know you won’t. Because everyone doesn’t speak up. Everyone is so scared of expressing themselves.

Even me.

It’s so hard for anyone to show us how we look, and so hard for us to show anyone how we feel.

It’s so hard for anyone to show us how we look, and so hard for us to show anyone how we feel.

In my memory, it doesn’t end. We just stay there, looking at each other, forever.

In my memory, it doesn’t end. We just stay there, looking at each other, forever.

To be honest, I haven’t really understood why I act the way I do. I’d like to think that I am a work in progress, slowly building up the identity that I want to have for myself. I think no one could fully understand my actions, because even I don’t know why I do things. I can be weird, and awkward, and creepy, and fun, and every other adjective one can think of. But you can never fully understand the meaning of my actions and the reasons behind my thoughts.
But knowing is one thing, and accepting is another.
People should learn to accept me for what I am. They may not know the reason behind the mystery of my being, but they would still continue to care. That’s because they have learned to accept me in all of my forms. Good, bad, Crazy and Nice.

To be honest, I haven’t really understood why I act the way I do. I’d like to think that I am a work in progress, slowly building up the identity that I want to have for myself. I think no one could fully understand my actions, because even I don’t know why I do things. I can be weird, and awkward, and creepy, and fun, and every other adjective one can think of. But you can never fully understand the meaning of my actions and the reasons behind my thoughts.

But knowing is one thing, and accepting is another.

People should learn to accept me for what I am. They may not know the reason behind the mystery of my being, but they would still continue to care. That’s because they have learned to accept me in all of my forms. Good, bad, Crazy and Nice.

( 57 ) 8 months ago - Reblog  #life  #people